Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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