i just made my gag reflex go away.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You are a genius and a whore.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
