Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
