As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
