She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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