I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
