4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
