i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
