the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
