oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
