Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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