went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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