You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
