Nicole vs. Life
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
