Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
