i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
