How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
