hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
