he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
