It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
