Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
