Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
