Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
