are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
