even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
