Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
