Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
