Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
