Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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