I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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