oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
