took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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