I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Two words: nipple clamps
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