We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
