I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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