He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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