Did you just see the Batmobile???
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
