Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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