No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Operation Purity has been aborted
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
