You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
