It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
