Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
