aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
