I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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