I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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