i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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