I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
