it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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