um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
