Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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