You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
