Whod you bang
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
