you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
