Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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