Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
