Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize