so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
