I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
