They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
